Since this is my 33rd Wedding Anniversary, it seems like a good time to revisit the subject of monogamy. As I have expressed in past blogs, the study of natural history suggests that monogamy is not a natural human condition; rather, it has been encouraged (if not imposed) by religious and cultural laws. However, most of us would agree that, in our complex, modern society, a stable, committed, monogamous relationship offers the ideal environment for the healthy development of children. Nevertheless, the divorce rate continues to hover near 50% in developed, Western cultures.
Some marriages are sustained solely through the power of guilt, a response to religious and social pressure. Others work due to the interdependent psychological needs of the partners. But it seems to me that most successful marriages reflect the willingness of the partners to give each other space.
Humans are social creatures. However, most of us require periods of solitude and cherish the freedom to pursue interests that our spouse may not share. Healthy relationships, built on trust and respect, make room for those needs. While nature ignites sexual attraction and romantic love in order to ensure procreation, we humans are left to foster and sustain our relationships; a willingness to compromise is essential.
